It's a man's world....


Its a man's world, they say.....

The journey begins with birth. A baby is born in a hospital where there are too many people and too much light. In the midst of all the hustle bustle around him, the baby sees his Mother - soft, soothing, loving, caring - and his Father - strong, calm, quiet, making his presence felt.

From an early age, the baby starts to understand how things work. 

Feeding time = Mother. 

Playtime = Father. 

Growing up, he learns how it is the mother who can be wound around its little finger and how it is the father whose permission it is that really matters. He sees, observes and realises, if he makes the father happy, even over the mother's displeasure, the father will agree to something the child wants. 
It's a man's world, he muses. 

The child grows and sees the world around him. In school, teachers are almost always all women. They are sweet to him, pamper and cuddle him when needed and are also stern, if need be. They remind him of his mother. But the Principal or the Physical Education or Gymnastics teachers are usually men - reminding him of his strong, quiet and strict father. (Of course, there are exceptions - my child's karate teacher is a sweet lady and so is the Physical Education teacher, but lets take the majority case.) 
When he goes to learn swimming or basketball or cricket or football, he sees men coaching him. And when he goes to drawing classes, art and craft classes, music/singing classes; it is usually the women who teach him. 
His school bus driver is a man while a maid usually accompanies the kids in the bus. The main work of driving the bus is done by the driver, while the maid is expected to only accompany the kids and supervise their getting off at the various stops. 
It's a man's world, he sees.

The child grows and sees some more of the world around him. He sees that the mother usually takes care of the kitchen and the general household front and the father usually takes care of the overall supervision of the household. When there's a birthday party, it is the mother who makes the lists, does the shopping, decides the menu (after consulting with the father) and generally takes care of the food preparations. The father, in turn, takes care of the decoration, pays for the return gifts and the other expenses incurred and generally takes care of the photos and videos and such other cool stuff. 
The child observes that the maids that come home to help mother, to cook and clean are all women. The driver is usually a man, the watchman is a man, the gardener who has to dig the soil, mow the lawn and climb on tall trees etc. is a man again. 
It's a man's world, he thinks. 

The child sees that he and his sister live in the same house, have the same parents and are of similar ages. But his sister, as she grows up, gets to help mother in the kitchen and help her set up the table for meals, while he can play outside and he can just come in to have food when it is time. He sees that it is the sister who has to help mother clean up while he can go and watch TV with the father or do his homework or read. He sees that no matter how nasty they fight, he is always told to not hurt his sister, not to make her cry, to take it easy when it comes to games that involve running or climbing. He understands that when his sister hits him hard, he is to take it like a man, but if he hits his sister, it is unacceptable! When they go out to play, however, it is he who is allowed to play late out with his friends, while his sister has to be home before dark. 
It's a man's world, he observes. 

As he grows, everywhere he looks, he sees that it is the women that are expected to do the labour while the men can relax as they are the providers. Women cook, feed, clean and the men provide. He also learns to understand that this 'providing for the family' that men do is considered to be more important than anything else that the women at home do. He sees that it is okay for men to be out late but when women stay out late, they are not favourably looked upon. 
He also understands how the world around him works. Most important positions in offices, just as in homes, are occupied by men. Most important decisions in offices, just as in homes, are made by men. Most power, basically, just as at home, is associated with men. It's a man's world, he realises. 

He grows up knowing and understanding that he has this power himself. Just by being born a boy, he has got this immense power over anybody who was born a girl. Be it the school, or the playground, or the college campus or the workplace, he being the male of the species is the superior one! 
But then he knows he has been raised right - he understands he has responsibilities. He knows he has to provide for his family, he knows he is ultimately responsible for protecting his family, but he also expects the others in the family to give him wide berth and adhere to his rules while he does so. 
It's a man's world, he understands.      

When he reads about the abuse of women and about the barbarous atrocities committed against women, he feels sad for the woman who is the victim. He has seen his mother and his sister at home and knows that they are sensitive, sweet little things. He knows that cruelty is definitely not something anyone deserves, least of all, women. He does understand that it is wrong on the part of one human being to subject another human being to such savage acts. Not for one moment does he buy into the age-old and wrong logic that it is the woman's fault if a man treats her badly. He is educated, he can think for himself. He understands and applies logic and he even believes in equal opportunity. 
It's a man's world, he reckons. 

Even though he has seen the discrepancy in which a man and a woman are treated in the society, he knows that at least his sister, mother, girlfriend, a lady colleague, wife and daughter need have no fear while he is around. Nevertheless, he never forgets to check on them. He never once lets these women around him stay out late, at least not when he isn't around to take care of them. Because he knows that it is a man's world out there. 
And not all men are created equal. He wishes with all his heart that there were more men like him than like those others who aren't like him. 
It's a man's world, he decides. 

He hopes to teach his son 'his way' of thinking and not that of those other men. But he will wait for his son to grow up, so he can tell him about the fact that it is a man's world. And it is only upto the man to make this world heaven or hell for those around him. 
One wrong thought, one wrong act, one wrong word by a man; and the entire world of the women around him can come crumbling down....at the same time, one good gesture, one kind word, one loving act, is all it takes for the women around him to blossom and shower him with so much love that he had never even dreamed of. 
He knows and wants his son to know, that in life, man and woman are two of the same species. That one of them has the ability to cause more harm to the other; and therefore, it is more his responsibility to see to it that that, is exactly what he doesn't do. 

It's a man's world, he is aware, and it is upto the man only, he knows, to take care of it! 



The end of this article may seem unexpected for many readers, while it could be natural for many others. And that exactly is the point the author is trying to make. Everytime the man realises he sits in a power seat, he does not have to do something wrong. That is what is natural - To not do something wrong. But our surroundings and upbringing make this 'natural' thing seem like a 'one off' case. This needs to change, and that change can only be brought about by responsible and thoughtful men. It may be a man's world, and there is nothing wrong in it being so. The men just need to be sensitive enough to take care of it.  

Comments

  1. Very well said! We wish we can raise our kids and their generation to be aware of this!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks! And yes, ideally, that should be the case :-)

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  2. Good,thought provoking ones.Instead of warning our daughters,its time we educate our sons to be a better man.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, prevention is always better than cure...

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